Avengers Academy (2010 series) #38

The Avengers Vs X-Men event is over and the Academy is open again. The Jeremy Briggs storyline of the last 4 issues is also over but some effects are left. Veil left the school a while ago and in that story she was glad to have been 'cured' of her superpower that was slowly killing her. But now she's unaccountably back and still in costume. And Maddy Berry's trying to raise Striker's spirits over the scars now on his face which he figures will wreck his acting career. Then Mettle pops in to say that the visiting X-kids are smack talking and Brandon Sharpe eagerly goes out to confront them.

We learn that this is the inaugural flag football game between the Academy and the X-Men's Jean Grey School. Teacher's Giant-Man, Hawkeye, Quicksilver, Tigra and the returned robot Jocasta welcome their opponents but White Tiger is responding to the X-boasts, The floating alien Doop responds to *her* in his own language. She can't understand what he said but thinks it sounds obscene (and knowing him it probably was). Rockslide advises her to be careful because Doop is rumoured to have made Dr Doom cry (though I don't think we know anything about that).

Henry Pym reminds everyone that tackling is not allowed in this version of the game, instead you stop an opponent by taking a 'flag' from their waist (everybody has 2 each). Powers are allowed but not to harm anyone. And he voted against this but teachers will join in the game. X-school headmaster Wolverine says he wants revenge for GM sucker-punch(kick)ing him out of an Avengers Quinjet (at the end of AvVsXM#3 when Logan was actually on the Avengers side).

Gambit takes a moment to talk to the Academy's resident X-person X-23. Remy LeBeau commiserates with her about having to kill Briggs last issue but Laura Kinney doesn't want to talk about it. Finesse overhears, knowing that it was actually she who used Laura's claws to commit the murder, which makes Jeanne Foucault extra snippy when Reptil tries to strike up a conversation with her (Humberto Lopez knows that in *a* future they are married, and Jeanne doesn't like the idea of it being *destined*). Gambit overhears *that* and suggests that 'Berto give Jeanne some space. In the meantime he should live his own life. Maybe they'll get together, but maybe they'll each find someone else.

The game begins. Hawkeye shoots multiple arrows and Iceman fires multiple ice darts. And everyone on both sides loses a flag. X-school headmistress Kitty Pryde (with her pet dragon Lockheed on her shoulder) throws them both off the teams, for what Bobby Drake terms 'excessive awesomeness'. The others get their flags back. Kitty notices Veil sitting the game out because she no longer has her powers. Maddy says she's glad to have been 'cured' but now she's just the normal human loser she was in ordinary school. Kitty reminds her that she's been trained to fight by the likes of Captain America, and she's saved lives and been to other dimensions so she's *not* a loser. She spots She-Hulk (Lyra) holding Kid Omega suspended with 1 hand, and she ejects *both* of them for excessive roughness, giving Maddy a spot on the Avengers team. Quentin Quire suggests that Lyra, from a world with no men, sneak of with him and he'll show her why he's called (at least by himself) the world's greatest lover. Lyra says her world *does* have men but they are slaves, and Quentin thinks that makes it even better.

It seems Hazmat tangled with Glob Herman in the match and her love Mettle asks Jenny Takeda if she's hurt, but she assures Ken Mack she's OK. Ken faces off against Rockslide, and Santo Vaccarro commiserates with Mettle's woman problems. Ken tells him how (during the Briggs affair) he and Jenny had half a day of human normality - he with proper skin and she able to shed her hazmat suit that keeps people safe from her toxicity and radioactivity. But Santo uses the moment to pass the ball back to teammate Anole who scores a touchdown and angry Mettle slams his metal fist in Rockslide's rocky body breaking off large pieces. He's aghast thinking he's killed his opponent but Vaccarro shows that he just reassembles. However Jenny lays into him explaining that Ken is suffering from PTSD after killing a Nazi (during the Fear Itself event). Santo says her radiation wouldn't bother his rocky body so she kicks him in the crotch instead, but of course the only result is her hurting her foot. Jocasta threatens to remove her from play. Santo comments to Ken that he has nothing down there to damage but he guesses Ken is better off than that.

'Berto and Maddy make Brandon lineup opposite Anole. Victor Borkowski guesses that it's because they're both the only gays on the block  Brandon figures his dating days are over now he's scarred, but Victor points out that he's got scales and 1 enlarged arm (like Popeye) (and also he's green) and that's not stopped him having great dates with mutants *and* humans.

Giant-Man tosses the ball to Reptil who turns into a large dinosaur to catch it in his mouth. Hank then shrinks down to human size only to be tackled from behind by Logan, who says now they're even. Kitty and Jocasta eject both of them. GM says he won't retaliate to set an example for the kids, but *his* love Tigra attacks Wolverine for him. However Jocasta turns her hand into a taser and zaps Greer Nelson making her hair and fur frizz up.

Lightspeed drags Quicksilver into the game as the only Academy teacher not benched, but Pietro Maximoff protests to Julie Power that he believes football means the proper version that the non-US world play. However when Warbird  accuses him of being "the cuckolded former consort of a Kree princess" (Crystal who is part of the royal family of the Inhumans who were created by the Kree) he sees red and they ignore the game and just attack each other. Jocasta charges her taser again resulting in 2 more people with frizzed hair.

Pym and Logan agree that their feud is settled and Henry says that the idea of this match was to strengthen relations between Avengers and X-Men. On that basis Wolverine tells the kids to mix it up and have members from both sides on the same team, and GM agrees. Hank also guesses that it was Logan's plan all along to get all the adults benched to foster bonding among the students. Wolvie says that wasn't *quite* his reason, and produces a a cooler full of beers for the grownups.

Warbird approaches Quicksilver and tells Pietro she was actually impressed by his courage, but Ava'Dara Maganandini also tells him that he's a joke in the Shi'ar imperial court. She asks him why he didn't kill Crystal for betraying him but he says because it was all *his* fault, which is why their daughter (Luna) won't talk to him. Which is probably why he's volunteered to be a teacher here which is a job he hates. And he doesn't know what that makes a sociopathic Shi'ar like her think of him. Her response is to grab him and kiss him.

Back in the game X-23 tackles Rockslide to stop him scoring, even though that's against the rules. His rocky skin has caused Laura to bleed but she assures him she'll heal (like Wolverine does). Finesse comes over to her and suggests that she's punishing herself for killing Briggs. Then Jeanne confesses that Laura was unconscious at the time and that it was *she* who used her claws to stab the villain. X-23 is aghast because of her history of being raised to be an assassin, and she claims to have killed everyone who used her as a weapon. Jeanne says she must do whatever she feels right.

Kitty Pryde chats to Jocasta about why she left the Academy and hopes that it's all been resolved. The robot says she's still worried about whether the Academy is ultimately harming the students rather than helping them, but she's realised that the outside world might be worse. Kitty opines that the Academy kids seem weary. Hank overhears and asks what they should do about it, but Kitty remembers how she felt when she joined the X-Men as a teenager. Iceman joins in to say that when teen him was in the original team they got a boost when Prof X gave them individual costumes to replace their lookalike uniforms. Jocasta points out that their kids never *had* such uniforms. Kitty adds that her 1st unique costume was a fashion disaster, and Bobby shows them a snap of it conveniently on his phone. She says the point was that the original X-Men's new duds symbolised their level of accomplishment. Henry Pym says he has an idea (which we'll see next issue). Meanwhile the game is continuing but the players realise that the teachers have stopped taking any notice so they give up. But Ken Mack thinks it's been a success and suggests they get together more often.