Captain America: Who WON'T Wield the Shield #1: Review

Apr 2010
Jason Aaron, Mirco Pierfederici

Story Name:

Forbush Man: Forbush Kills!

Review & Comments

Rating:
1 stars

Captain America: Who WON'T Wield the Shield #1 Review by (June 21, 2010)
Review: The main story is a satire of WINTER SOLDIER: WINTER KILLS, with a great deal of inside humor as Marvel makes fun of its recent questionable decisions, portraying itself as a soulless money-grubbing corporation in an attempt to be hip and snarky. It’s mildly amusing at first but the realization that, for all their self-deprecating humor, the company won’t change its ways just makes it depressing and cynical in the end. Meanwhile “Doctor America” is an incoherent throwback to Underground Comix (complete with anti-Nixon jokes) and “Golden Age Deadpool” a lame parody. Neither is funny. This comic taught me a valuable lesson: I don’t have to buy everything with Captain America’s name on it.

Comments: “This comic has nothing to do with CAPTAIN AMERICA REBORN.”—Cover. The Doctor America story features cameos by the Fantastic Four, Spider-Man, Thor, and Hulk. Main story also includes cameos by Brian Michael Bendis and Joe Quesada. No idea why they blacked out the word “marriage” from Forbush Man’s rant. Issue ends with a parody ad for the “Sleege” mega event.



 

Synopsis / Summary / Plot

Captain America: Who WON'T Wield the Shield #1 Synopsis by Peter Silvestro

Years ago, Aleksander Lukin gave the Red Skull a tour of his warehouse; declining to sell the Nazi villain the Winter Soldier, Lukin steered him to another purchase….

In the present, amnesiac assassin Forbush Man, trying to reclaim his lost identity, arrives at a comic book shop in a midwestern strip mall. There, a haughty Ed Brubaker and the little-known Jason Aaron are holding court, signing books for fans, when Forbush Man crashes through the ceiling, in combat with Nomad…and he kills his foe. Forbush Man confronts Brubaker, asking him if he is the one who killed Captain America. When the writer proudly boasts of his sales figures and Eisner Awards, the disgusted anti-hero denounces the assembled writers for twisting cherished childhood heroes into "grim and gritty perversions of themselves." When the nervous Jason Aaron tries to defend the group, Forbush Man guns him down. Matt Fraction steps forward and offers Forbush Man two comics to read….


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> Captain America: Who WON'T Wield the Shield: Book info and issue index


Story #2

Doctor America: Occult Operative of Liberty

Writer: Matt Fraction. Penciler: Brendan McCarthy. Inker: Brendan McCarthy. Colorist: Howard Hallis.

Synopsis / Summary / Plot

[Forbush Man reads] Stephen "Bro" Rogers is kidnapped by undergovernment agents and forced to smoke the Super Satan Formula, transforming him into Doctor America, who dreams in a psychedelic mashup of images by Ditko and Kirby. When he experiences occult awareness he is teamed with a partner, Baal Lebutte the Goat Boy, and sent into action. His first mission takes him to the Altamont Speedway rock festival which is threatened by Hell’s Angels led by Richard Milhous Manson alias the Crimson Euphemism. As the villain schemes to detonate a nuclear weapon, Doctor America and Goat Boy fly in on rockets, foil the plan and crash into the La Brea Tar Pits, where Doc sinks into suspended animation chanting the mystic mantra Ditkirbanko under the watchful eye of the Cosmic Kitten Kithotep….


Story #3

The Golden Age Deadpool

Writer: Stuart Moore. Penciler: Joe Quinones. Inker: Joe Quinones. Colorist: Javier Rodríguez.

Synopsis / Summary / Plot

The second comic read by Forbush Man begins in a top secret government lab where the noted scientist Dr. Myron Maclain dozes off while supervising the forging of a powerful shield…. A shadowy figure creeps into the lab to steal the secret weapon and he is revealed to be…the Golden Age Deadpool! (Cue short feature) During World War I, President Woodrow Wilson’s embarrassing nephew Freddy is inducted into the army, where, in an plot to avoid combat, he attempts to smoke his own weight in cigars to fake gas poisoning. No one is fooled but he is discharged anyway, forced to wear a gas mask to counter the damage to his lungs. In the states he spends the 1930s watching cheap cartoons until his mind crumbles and he sees everyone as a cheesy cartoon character. At the beginning of the next war, he is approached by enemy agents and volunteers to become a super-soldier in an experiment using stolen American secrets. The goof becomes a Nazi superhero called Veapon X (actually a swastika but my keyboard doesn’t have one—good thing). (Back to the "present") Deadpool is caught in the act of stealing Captain America’s shield and gives battle to the guards. Dr Maclain pleads for the return of the shield (so the General won’t find out he was asleep on the job). In the scuffle, Deadpool is unmasked and when he sees his damaged face in the shiny shield, he vows to dedicate himself to the American cause. He is shot down by his Nazi masters, who are then captured, and the shield is recovered. After everyone has left, the invulnerable Wilson rises from the floor, to continue his battle…but on which side?


Story #4

[Conclusion]

Writer: Jason Aaron. Penciler: Mirco Pierfederici. Inker: Mirco Pierfederici. Colorist: Mirco Pierfederici.

Synopsis / Summary / Plot

Disgusted with the two comics he’s just read, Forbush Man confronts editor Stephen Wacker and denounces Marvel, "You’ll do whatever it takes to turn a buck, won’t you? Why, next you’ll be telling me that you’re changing the color of the Hulk, making everyone into Skrulls and completely doing away with Spider-Man’s ---! All this just to sell a few more copies?" He whips out his gun and shoots down all the comic creators in the room. Then the anti-hero spots Captain America’s shield on the wall and reaches for it—only to be interrupted by a woman who reveals to him his real identity: he is Irving Forbush, comedy character from the 1960s parody book NOT BRANCH ECCH. Realizing that he also has been turned into a grim and gritty character he panics, calling for Stan Lee, Jack Kirby, Marie Severin…then he is shot down by Ed Brubaker—for scuffing his Eisners. Moments later, Forbush Man rises from the dead, a Marvel Zombie, chanting "Mmmake…mmmine…Mmmmarvel…" as the survivors flee for their lives….

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Mirco Pierfederici
Mirco Pierfederici
Mirco Pierfederici
Gerald Parel (Cover Penciler)
Gerald Parel (Cover Inker)
Gerald Parel (Cover Colorist)


Characters

Listed in Alphabetical Order.

Captain America
Captain America

(Steve Rogers)
Red Skull
Red Skull

(Johann Shmidt)

Plus: Aleksander Lukin, Forbush Man, Nomad (Jack Monroe).