In
the alternate universe, the Defenders and the Squadron Supreme witness as Kyle
Richmond discovers he is not the Nighthawk of the Defenders but Nighthawk of
the Squadron Supreme. But his memories are scrambled so he cries out for
understanding. The psychic collective within Over-Mind explains that Defenders
Kyle has been dead since issue #106, he is President/Squadron Kyle. The man who
was assassinated was an artificial construct created by Null as a temporary
hiding place while it gathered its power. The Chorus, led by Mindy Williams,
explains how they tried to save Defenders Kyle by pushing him into the
Squadron’s world but it went wrong and the bad guy August Masters was
transferred, which drove him mad so that he wanted to kill President Richmond. The
Chorus came over and discovered that in taking control of President Richmond’s
mind, Over-Mind erased his brain so Mindy et al imprinted their Kyle’s mind
onto the other Kyle’s brain. So the teleporter is repaired and the Defenders
ready to go home, leaving the bitter Nighthawk in his own world and his own
misery…but a bug (literally) gets into the works…
…sending
most of the team (Doctor Strange, Hulk, Son of Satan, Silver Surfer,
Scarlet Witch, Vision, Over-Mind, and August Masters) back to their point of origin in
New York City…
…while
Sub-Mariner, Valkyrie, Beast, and Gargoyle find themselves in a cartoonish
fantasy land. Val calms down Namor, enraged as he is at more of the usual
complications to his simple life. They attract a crowd and the Lord and Mayor,
Greeneggs, who speaks in rhyme, welcomes them to Here, his sidekick Annham
recognizing the visitors as “They.” Namor considers this all a shared
hallucination though the others aren’t so sure. Greeneggs shows them a book (“Stan
Lee Presents Myths, Legends, Predictions, and Funny Things”) which contains
their pictures as the “They” of prophecy, who would arrive in the time of war.
The enemy is Easyread the First, Mayor of There, who threatens them with his
great monster Thornton. Namor explodes at this nonsense and refuses to help
even if it is real, making the locals cry. Namor receives a scolding from
Gargoyle. Namor just wants to go home but the way out is via the magical Ruby
Sneakers, held by Easyread in his castle. Val, Beast, and Gargoyle are willing
to go along with this as it looks like more fun than they have had in a long
time. And so there is a celebration of the next day’s mission….
Interlude:
Kyle Richmond’s nurse Luann Bloom is certain that the Defenders had some hand
in Kyle’s death. She arrives at a midnight rendezvous to find her mysterious
informant is an elf….
The
next day, the heroes are to set out across the sea to invade There in a
non-violent attack. They mount cute cartoon fishes to cross the sea but Namor
figures it will be easier for him to swim so he dives in and discovers the sea
isn’t water but strawberry malted. But their enemy, Easyread, who speaks with
an Elmer Fudd inflection, sees them coming and makes his own preparations. So
the Defenders and the others encounter the monster Thornton who traps the
smaller creatures in bubbles from his bubble pipe. The Defenders try to topple
him but they are covered in sticky stuff and held motionless while Thornton
goes about his favorite activity: teaching. He natters on endlessly about one
subject after another until the heroes fall asleep. Meanwhile, Greeneggs and
Annham enter the castle, capture Easyread, and spank him until he promises to
end the war. Everyone gathers at the castle and the Defenders ask what the war
was about and Easyread explains that it was because both villages claimed that
the land they lived in was Here and the other one was There. Namor throws a
massive tantrum and wants to wreck the place until he is presented with the
magic Ruby Sneakers. The others talk him into putting them on (they are his
exact size) and repeating the incantation (“There’s no place like the place I
came from before I came here”) and they are magically whisked back to their New
York HQ, arriving only seconds after all the others. This finally convinces
Namor that it was all a mass hallucination…until Gargoyle points out that Namor
is still wearing the Ruby Sneakers. They all laugh at him….