Synopsis
Empyre: Fantastic Four #0 synopsis by
Rob Johnson
Rating:
A previously-unseen female Elder Of The Universe, the Profiteer, has taken over the Casino Cosmico from fellow Elder Grandmaster. She is taking bets on the outcome of simulations of battles taken from the millennia-long history of Kree/Skrull War. The audience chooses the scenario, but the fight is always between her 2 champions Jo-Venn, the Kree Chronicler Of Blood, and N'Kalla, the Skrull Requiem Of Shapeless Souls. Both are living histories of the War's atrocities, and have been bred from birth to hate each other.
The audience chooses the lava wastes of Lorkanna 6, which was historically won by the Skrulls. Bets are laid and the duel commences. N'Kalla shifts to an Argovian fang-bear and relieves Jo-Venn of his shield and pins his sword arm. But Jo grabs the helmet from a fallen Kree and uses its metal crest to slice open the bear's throat. The Skrull is encased in a medical stasis field and the Kree declared the winner.
Profiteer gives her medi-bot 3 hours to repair N'Kalla before the next bout.
Meanwhile the Fantastic Four, including the kids Franklin and Valeria, are on a cosmic road-trip but a plasma flare has drained the quantum battery of their spaceship, and they're stuck on an asteroid. It isn't considered a good idea for Franklin Richards to use some of his dwindling power to get them home. Then Human Torch spots a passing ship (actually ship-shaped with cosmic sails 'n all) and sends up a flare.
Cap'n Barnooka offers them a tow to the nearest spaceport but won't accept payment in universal credits. Not because of the FF's fame for saving the universe several times, but because the universal credit system has broken down. He'll only accept barter. He recognises Thing as the guy who 'went the distance' with Torgo (original FF#92-93) and suggests he enter the All-Comers fight at the Casino Cosmico. The prize-money will be enough to refuel their ship. Johnny Storm immediately declares himself Ben Grimm's manager and offers Barnooka front-row seats at the match in return for the tow.
At the Casino N'Kalla's wound is proving difficult to mend, and even Jo-Venn has internal injuries. Profiteer needs them to be really well because she needs the bouts to last longer or her clientele will dwindle. An advisor suggests that Grandmaster would have allowed the contestants to rest longer, but Profiteer says that's because her 'brother' was only interested in the game, she is all about the bottom line. But she *will* consider who else is on the bill tonight.
The FF arrive at the Casino with Johnny talking up Thing as a contender. Reed and Sue tell the kids to stay and guard the ship, really to keep them out of the gambling den. But when they're gone Valeria Richards trades the ship to the Casino for a load of chips. She figures her genius will allow her to win enough to buy back the ship and get some fuel.
Torch is trying to get his 'boy' in the ring but he needs to pay an entrance fee. The fight-master is willing to take the vibranium cast on Thing's arm (a 'souvenir' of his fight with Hulk in current FF#12-13). Ben will be up after the next Kree/Skrull War re-enactment. They hear Profiteer remind patrons that this is the only place you can now see the War as she introduces the next scenario which has Chronicle and Requiem in the lightning minefield of Outpost Omega during the final assault on New Hala.
Reed Richards wonders what could have terminated the interminable Kree/Skrull conflict. Sue Richards reminds him that *they* stopped the War for a while at Black Bolt and Medusa's wedding on the Moon (FF Annual #18). Ben wasn't there because he chose to remain on the Beyonder's Battleworld after Secret Wars I. So they have to explain how Kree Bel-Dann and Skrull Raksor were finishing off the War as a duel of representatives of their species, but the FF tricked them into allying against the Earth heroes - and the alliance stuck. But Reed now reveals that (in the Incoming 1-shot) he and Blue Marvel found the 2 dead on Earth after they'd been secretly working together. Mr Fantastic plans to have a look round in full view of surveillance cameras, but signals Invisible Woman to follow him invisibly.
Meanwhile Franklin blags the kids' way into the casino by claiming to be members of a slow-ageing Valerian species. Valeria calculates the odds and places all their chips on a no-lose bet - but only gets 1 chip back.
Ben and Johnny are watching the match. Ben is appalled at the bloodthirsty crowd. And then the Kree loses his helmet and is revealed as a mere child. Thing leaps into the ring and rips through a forcefield. The fight-master warns him that his entrance fee will be forfeit if he disrupts the match. Ben's reply is to invite Johnny to join him, and Human Torch flames on.
Profiteer sees what's going on and quickly turns it to her advantage. She introduces them as a special attraction, Human Torch and Thing who participated in many of the most epic Kree/Skrull battles. And she initiates a new round of betting.
But MF (and IW) invade her 'office' and Reed accuses her of being behind the collapse of the galactic economy and the ending of the Kree/Skrull War. She denies it and claims instead to be supporting the economy with her business and keeping the War 'alive' here, and also keeping the populace's mind off the big problems with the usual bread and circuses. She further claims the War has been a reliable source of profit for all, and caused advances in science, medicine and weaponry. She admits that she's using 2 children in her fights but claims that they are (for some reason) the best hope for the Kree/Skrull Alliance to fail. Reed now has confirmation that such an alliance exists. As Profiteer sends 3 armed and armoured warriors to attack him he notices on a monitor screen Frank and Val in the casino looking unhappy. He sends Sue to help them.
Ben and Johnny have discovered that the Skrull 'warrior' is also young and a girl. They try to keep the pair apart but the kids are giving them a hard time. They claim to have been trained from birth to kill each other, but won't accept the Earthers belittling *either* of them.
Valeria is still managing to bet, this time in a dice game. And Invisible Woman sneakily arranges for her to win. Apparently this wins them enough money to cash out, but Sue lets them know she's here and tells them to keep going. They win more money on 'roulette' and the jackpot on a 'wheel of fortune'. Invisible Sue advises them what to do at 'poker' overriding Val's claims to have calculated the odds. Profiteer's advisor contacts her to warn her that something's going on ...
... but the boss is too busy trying to stop Mr Fantastic accessing the controls of the combat arena. He triggers his favourite scenario before grabbing a big gun and destroying the machinery.
In the ring the combatants find themselves at the wedding in the Blue Area of the Moon again and the alien kids take the roles of Bel-Dann and Raksor, which means they have to fight the FF not each other. The children defeat the 2 heroes and for the 1st time in the Casino's history both Kree and Skrull are declared joint winners. Which discombobulates them.
Profiteer and her guards now have Mr Fantastic in shackles. She comes to reclaim her child assets but HT and Thing stand against her. But then Sue and the advisor show up with Franklin and Valeria laden down with jewels and stuff. The advisor says they broke the bank with an incredible run of 'luck' and now they own the Casino. But Val offers to hand the Casino back in return for their ship, some fuel (they forget about Ben's vibranium cast) and the contracts on the child warriors. Profiteer reluctantly agrees. The Kree and Skrull kids go with the FF but promise to return 1 day to kill the Elder.
In the FF's ship Jo-Venn and N'Kalla keep verbally sniping at each other but we can see they no longer really mean it. Reed declares the vacation over and they warp back to the Solar System. Where they find themselves in the middle of an armada.